Day Four
The First Days
The first week or so is always one of the most difficult
times. I have a flood of emotions going on. In the weeks leading up to the
actual good bye, there is often a building tension. By the time the good bye
comes, I already wish he was gone so that he could hurry up and get back. Our
routines have to keep changing, the house is in shambles as he gets packed and
looks for everything that he needs, the children are weapy, I am crabby. He is
crabby. It is just a mess. We try to maintain order and happiness amidst the
chaos that is a long good bye but it is difficult.
The final day comes and goes and now the children are sad
and I am sad. The house reminds me of him, a towel on the towel rack, shoes
next to the door, razor in the cup. Our room still smells like his morning
routine. It is difficult. It is sad. I am sad. I miss him already and we have 6
long months ahead. I used to allow myself about a week to be sad and drag a
little, even during the 2 month stints of training. The children are the same.
We all just miss him. We are sad together. We talk to him on the phone and try
to sound cheerful and up beat but really I just want to crawl into bed as I
used to do, pull the sheets over my head and go back to sleep. Anyone with
small children, even sad small children, knows that if you get to sleep past 6 AM,
it is a gift!
This time I kept us busy from the beginning. It has worked.
The momentum of those first few days has been snow balling into a whirlwind of
activity and happiness. We miss Clif so much but this time, I have us so busy
that we all drop happily exhausted into bed most nights. I get my night time
visitors a little more frequently but I am happier to have them. They won’t be
this small for very long and I want to cherish every snuggle and hug I can
while they still want to hug me.
“And we know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him, who[a]
have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
Thank you God for the work you have laid out before me. Help
me to be strong during this time. Give me strength and wisdom to complete each
task and make it through each day triumphantly.
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